When the past comes a-knockin'

A friend of mine recently sent me, via email, a copy of a paper I had written in high school, which she had just rediscovered in her inbox. I had all but forgotten this paper; though, given the current governmental situation in America, it seems to have regained a bit of validity. Thus, I present to you a ballsy little composition from my junior year of high school.

Que disfrutéis mucho de ella.

Becca Niles

AP English 11-6

Mr. Antey

13 March 2006

A Modest Proposal Approach to Political Correctness Civic Decorum…

It has come to pass over the recent decades that the American society, or rather the conglomeration of societies (all unique and individual in their own right) that form America, have found themselves oppressed by not only the Euro-descendant majority, but by the English language itself- or rather, the distinct American dialect of English. As a result of this verbal oppression, the minorities* of the united, individual societies of the United States of America have created, excuse me, adapted and evolved a certain euphemistic guide to public speech known as “Political Correctness.” This method emphasizes the intentional verbal omission of all subjects relating to traditional Western ideology and Caucasian ancestry also known as, the “majority.” Americans take great pride in Political Correctness because the key to a truly successful democratic republic lies in the complete disregard of the “popular majority.” While this method has proven extremely effective in social equalizing, it still contains one significant restriction- its name.

Consequently, my goal is to determine a new title for Political Correctness. First, the term “political” could potentially** imply that a “polity” and even a “government” are the only acceptable means of existence. To those who wish to remain outside of a nation and those who denounce government, or “anarchists,” this term may appear slightly offensive. Also, the term “correctness” could presumably imply that one’s goal in life should be to be “correct,” thereby implying that to be “not correct” is in fact incorrect and frowned upon by society…and those who choose to remain outside society- which is not incorrect. Also, if one were to oppose the “correct” party, the opposer would proceed to be incorrect thereby either disproving the “correct” party or affirming the existence of an absolute truth, both of which are completely irrelevant. Furthermore, the adapted acronym, “PC,” is the same as that of “personal computers,” which are not readily available to those who are not of an immense monetary status.

Thus, seeing no other option, I had elected (or appointed, depending on personal governmental views) the phrase “Civic Decorum.” However, after a review by Harvard sociologists, the majority voted to keep the name. Therefore, because of one sociologist’s aversion to Hondas and another’s profound distaste for cubist art of the 1920’s and rum, I changed the terminology to “The Dogmatic Repression of Progressivism.” This time, the phrase successfully received one affirmative vote out of a possible 348. May the democratic American spirit live on in the name of the Dogmatic Repression of Progressivism.

*In no way am I suggesting or condoning inferiority by the term “minority.”

** I apologize to those who harbor a hatred for physics or merely prefer kinetic energy to potential energy. By using “potentially” I am in no way endorsing one energy or the other.